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I am an Aspergers sufferer(a form of autism), I was told that I am unlikable & troubled since I was 3 (by my Mom- I am sure that she had OCD & other mental illness too). I am also pretty sure that my Dad & my brothers don’t like me much too. These are my symptoms:
* Emotional issues (mood swings. I cry everyday, I often over think & over feel, I take everything offensive. For example, when my Mom/Dad calls me stupid (almost everyday), I cried about 20 minutes, and then I got angry, and when I get angry, I can do bad things. I AM TROUBLED.
* Social Awkwardness – I don’t have friends, I used have a few friends, but I have a feeling that they don’t like me that much neither. I don’t fit in.. I tend to say the wrong thing at the wrong time & do the wrong thing at the wrong time. I was also told that my temperament/behavior is not that good sometimes. ** I could not pick up on social cues. I offend people without knowing why people got mad at me all the time. So I choose to be alone, so that I don’t have to look at people’s “rejection” faces. I don’t even know what I have done wrong & why people are hating on me.
* Anxiety- I am scared of a lot of things. I always think something bad is going to happen.
* Obession – when I am obsessed with certain thing, I will keep doing that same thing, and I am also very picky, bossy, and strict (just like my parents). I want everything to be perfect, and if it doesn’t go my way, I will get mad.
* I was kind of slow at school when I was a kid, but i got better when I was in university.
*** and my Mom (sometimes my Dad too) calls me stupid & compares me to my cousin almost everyday ever since I was 3, it has been over 20 years. My self esteem is extremely low, I don’t even talk to my relatives, I only give them gifts every year at Christmas (I leave the gifts at my Dad’s house & they pick up the gifts, I don’t see them in person anymore), because I really don’t want to see people’s “rejection” faces.
So my question is do you think people with Aspergers/autism, OCD & other mental disabilities are naturally “unlikable” due to their “symptoms”? I am sure that my Mom had OCD, and my Dad has Aspergers just like me. They are not really likable too. The only difference is that I did not say it out loud, but they did tell me constantly that I am unlikable & stupid, especially my Mom, she told me that almost everyday for over 20 years, she also compared me to my cousin almost everyday which I could not bear. Anyway, what are your thoughts about some mental disabilities people are naturally UNLIKEABLE?
I have been watching a lot of videos about this couple on youtube, they have been traveling across the US by RV since 8 years ago, and they are currently traveling most of the South America countries/islands by Sail Boat. This is so cool & exciting, they have been experiencing different culture & adventures everyday, and their sail boat is their full time home. This is the type of life I want ever since I was a kid. I should have done the same thing a long time ago. I used to travel across the US doing different shows, but I don’t do it anymore. Too Bad. I really want to buy a small RV, or a small boat, so that i could travel everywhere, and the RV or Boat is my full time home. Wouldn’t it be cool if you wake up in different locations everyday? New Adventure everyday.
In my precious blog, I have mentioned about wanting to disappear from society & the movie INTO THE WILD (based on a true story), the main character cut ties with all his friends & family, and went on an adventure of his lifetime (he was sick of society). Here is another video I found about Surviving Alone In Alaska.
I have watched the movie “Into The Wild” many times, it is based on a true story, and I totally understand why he did what he did. I, myself want to disappear from society ever since I was a kid, perhaps is because of I couldn’t fit in (I have Aspergers, and I was constantly emotional abused by my Mom since I was 3, she called me stupid & compared me to my cousin almost everyday). *** I really want to disappear from everything, and I am still planning on it, but I don’t know how. Any idea??
**** Here is the trailer for “Into The Wild”. If you haven’t watched this movie, you should, this is an eye opener for me & for MANY people, and this is based on a true story.
**** Here is an award winning song for this movie, “Guaranteed” by Eddie Vedder.
***** Here are some of the quotes from the movie
“Happiness [is] only real when shared”
“It’s not always necessary to be strong, but to feel strong.”
“Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
“When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God’s light shines upon you.”
“I read somewhere… how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong… to measure yourself at least once.”
“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”
“We like companionship, see, but we can’t stand to be around people for very long. So we go get ourselves lost, come back for a while, then get the hell out again.”
“I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don’t want one.”
“The core of mans’ spirit comes from new experiences.”
“It is easy, when you are young, to believe that what you desire is no less than what you deserve, to assume that if you want something badly enough, it is your God-given right to have it.”
“You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living.”
“What if I were smiling and running into your arms? Would you see then what I see now?”
“It is true that I miss intelligent companionship, but there are so few with whom I can share the things that mean so much to me that I have learned to contain myself. It is enough that I am surrounded with beauty…”
“The sea’s only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don’t know much about the sea, but I do know that that’s the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head.”
“Nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”
“It is the experiences, the memories, the great triumphant joy of living to the fullest extent in which real meaning is found. God it’s great to be alive! Thank you. Thank you.”
“I thought climbing the Devil’s Thumb would fix all that was wrong with my life. In the end, of course, it changed almost nothing. But I came to appreciate that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams.”
“I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life.”
This is the house I am living in right now. It is not an expensive house, but it is so cute. Haha, don’t mind the song i have chosen in this video, it is just a song i used to like.
I have been selling a lot of things online, and I also sell directly to different customers here in the city where I am living in (advertised via different websites). The products that i carry are mostly natural stone jewelry & personalized gift items, I buy a lot of stone items & resell them. I am kind of surprised that a lot of Hispanics love natural stone jewelry too , AMAZING..
** This is sort of an unnecessary blog, but i just feel like to write something. lol
